I first bought Aiden a pinewood derby kit more than a year ago. It was just one of those things that I picked up when I was at the scout office getting his first cubscout handbook and accompanying utilities. I remember thinking though that I had to pick up a kit - just in case. Basically I was already mentally preparing for this next stage of fatherhood. The "Dad, make me something totally awesome that will win me big points with all my friends and secure my spot in cubscout, school, etc. history-so that later in teenage life, people will still adore me and girls will want to dance with me" stage.
But alas, I acted prematurely. Last year, we built rockets instead of derby cars. I was only mildly disappointed though, because really, rockets are cool too. Yeah, Aiden learned the Bishop motto really quickly that year - It doesn't matter how fast it is, just as long as it looks cool. We had a cool rocket that broke before the first race. I patched it together, but it never functioned as it should have.
Fast forward to about a month ago. Kim told me the cubscouts would actually be doing a derby this year...and it would be in about a month. No problem! I can whip out one of those bad boys in no time. After getting inspired by some good, honest web surfing, I had decided I was going to put fenders on the car. You know, propel it into the super derby car status by making it look more like an actual car and not Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. I asked Aiden what kind of car he wanted to make and he just kind of shrugged. I showed him some pictures and his eyes lit up when he saw the new camaro (think Bumble Bee in the new bombastic Transformer movies - the Oscar gems that they are) (that should be read as non-Oscar gems in case you couldn't sense my sarcasm through your computer monitor).
After a few nights of cutting, gluing and sanding, we were pretty pleased with our efforts. I will say however that for those of us that have to work until 6 or 6:30, I question the sanity of winter derbies. It was a little cool outside, sanding and painting in the dark. Of course, despite my best efforts, the night of the derby was fast approaching. I hastily threw a paint job on the car with some paint I had in the garage. Added pressure came the next morning when Aiden announced that he wanted to take the car for show and tell. I quickly put the wheels on the car before I left for work, but they were not balanced or cleaned or anything.
Later that evening, I had the displeasure of visiting some Dante-like level of heck (we'll keep it clean for the youngins) as I had my broken tooth fitted for a crown. After leaving my state-sponsored water boarding, I returned home to gather up Aiden and the car and hustle over for weigh in. Now, it was not until a few minutes before leaving for the weigh in that Kim and I realized that we were probably going to have to leave the car. Remember that the last time I did this I was 11, and our weigh ins were always right before the race. Also remember that I had pretty much haphazardly slapped the wheels on the car, and Aiden had really wanted to touch up the paint (I told you Aiden had the Bishop motto down).
Reluctantly we scooted over to weigh in where we discovered that we would definitely be leaving the car, and that our car weighed 6.5 oz. Derby cars can only weigh 5 oz or they spontaneously combust as they roll down the track or something. Lucky for me (not the car) some friends had brought a drill and I went to work removing every splinter of excess wood from the underbelly of the car. If you look at the picture, you'll see where the overzealous drill and the Novocained father put three holes right through the top of the car. You probably won't see however the trail of blood I left from one of those stray punctures slicing my left pointer finger. Nor will you see the trail of tears I shed as I was forced to destroy my own creation.
Miraculously, I somehow got the weight down to 5 oz, but the car was never the same. Aiden actually cried himself to sleep that night...poor kid. I assured him that we'll put it back together so he can at least play with it without the fear of wood shards puncturing his flesh.
Race day was pretty much as I expected. Our car was not very fast. I told Kim as they were beginning that I would be happy if it just made it to the end of the track. It was usually in the pack, but always at the back section of that pack. Yes, the Bumble Flyer, as Aiden dubbed it, was a sight to behold coming in last but doing it in style - holes and all.
