A brush with death

I love ATVs.

They have not always loved me in return, however. I’m not quite sure I remember my first experience with one, but I do remember my first mishap. I was riding on the back of a three-wheeler with Ryan Ellsworth. One second I was riding, the next second I was on my back with all the ligaments in my right ankle torn. Apparently you’re not supposed to put your foot down, even if you’re about to tip over.

Now. Flash forward 25 years or so to last weekend. Our good friends had invited us once again to their cabin in the pines. The weather was a little cool but felt so good after the scorching we’ve been getting here in Las Vegas. The bonus to this cabin by the way - an ATV. I shed my titles of father and husband, and become “Bubba,” the redneck chauffeur – deftly shuttling my yunggins around them thar hills.

On Saturday, I put off Grey Grey as long as I could (even though I do love riding the ATV – once I saddle her, I’m committed for a couple of hours of ripping. You do know I have six kids, right?), but after some major pleading, he and I set out a little after lunch.

I was bored with the usual trails around the cabin so I decided to try one a little further up the hill in majestic Steam Engine Meadows. We had barely been off road for maybe 10 minutes when we came to the mother of all hills. I looked down the foreboding descent and was about to turn around. I asked Grey what he wanted to do – certain that he was going to say, “Turn around.” (You do know that Grey is my timid one, right?) Instead, he says, “We can do it, Dad.”

“Well, OK then.”

I knew we had made a mistake about halfway down, when I had the brakes practically locked and I’m telling Greyson to lean back as far as he can. With the handlebars having me sing soprano, we finally made it to the bottom. Except, here came the problem. The trail pretty much ended right there, so the only way to go was back up.

I shoved it into 1st gear and started a nice slow ascent – me picturing a Stomper rolling over Lincoln Logs. Yeah, that didn’t work. We made it about halfway and the engine ran out of power. I locked down the brakes and had Grey slowly climb off (I mentioned that we were on the mother of all hills, right?) I asked him to climb up the hill to the top and wait for me there. When he reached the top, he started jumping up and down, Rocky-style, yelling, “I made it! I made it!”

Yes, son, you did. Tell your mom that I love her and you can finally play with all my super hero action figures. Now for dear, old dad. Gulp… I started backing down the hill and hit a particular steep part. The front wheels picked up off the ground. Gulp… Cue me mumbling something like, “Please don’t let me die. Please don’t let me die.”



I finally made it back down the hill and got the engine really going. I let it rip in 1st and go full throttle at the hill. I bounce and claw to about 2/3 the way up the hill when the ATV’s engine gives out once again. The hill is just too much for it to climb. So what do I do? I back it down and try again of course – because backing down was so much fun the first time, I just had to do it again.

Next – just read the previous two paragraphs and you’ll get the gist. This time, however, when the engine can’t propel me any further, I get the idea to climb off to “lighten the load.” With my hands on the throttle and brakes, I work my Cirque du Soleil magic on that bike and land nimbly next to it on the rocky hill. I give the ATV some gas and it starts to move, but nothing happens. The back wheels broke free and started digging into the hill. I shoved some rocks under the wheels and dug out the front lip of the holes and started her back up. I gassed it, pushed, but the ATV just lunged out of the hole and then rocked back in. Dang gravity!

So I accepted it. The ATV was stuck on the mother of hills. My son and I were now going to walk out and get some help. I made it up to Grey and told him to walk with me. Because I had my cell phone, he started telling me to call for help. I didn’t know who to call, since I knew Kim wouldn’t have her phone on. So we walked.

About 10 minutes into our hike, Greyson says, sheepishly, “You know what we need to do, Dad… It’s something we do everyday… It starts with a ‘P’.” Now you know that I said about 5 prayers while I was trying to get that ATV up that hill, but I agreed with Grey and decided to stop and pray. I asked him to say it and he said, “But I said it at lunch!” After I insisted, he said a sweet, humble prayer asking for some help to get us and the ATV home safely.

We continued walking for about another 20 minutes when Kim called. We were now in Steam Engine Meadows again and about to walk down the hill to the cabin. I explained the situation and got the phone number for the local motorsports dealer. They showed up with a winch and were able to get the bike out.

It was interesting, because at one point, Greyson asked why we weren’t getting any help after we had prayed. I explained that we actually received a lot of help. Grey was able to get off the ATV and climb to the top of the hill. The bike hadn’t rolled back on me and possibly caused severe injury. I happened to have my phone with me and was able to talk to Kim. I was also able to get help to get the ATV out without a scratch.

Yes, we were immensely blessed, and I was wracked with the guilt that comes from jeopardizing so much with my son’s life and mine. Yet, I was also extremely glad to share that experience and build our faith together.

By the way, I’m ready to go off-roading again – I’m just going to stay away from any of those hills with posterity.

10 Recent Realizations

10. I realize that my son Gage may be Latin!
OK, so I know he is not, but with all the tremendous amounts of swimming that we have been doing, he does not look like he belongs to us. All you need to do is catch a glimpse of his tan line on his backside, and you will need sunglasses!

9. I realize that I am still doing homework even at 35!
Because I am tutoring 9 kids (almost 10), I am doing homework almost nightly. I am reading three books currently, and none that I had on my summer reading list. It is good that I like children’s and young adult literature. It’s good though. I love all the kids I tutor. I do not have a bad apple in the group.

8. I realize that my children are fish.
Well perhaps they do not have gills, but you think they might with how much they love swimming. The oldest are all independent swimmers and the Bubs is nearly there. Cooper and Brooke do love getting in and after a day of swimming, I am pooped!

7. I realize that I was a little "creamy" to take 6 kids to Krispy Kreme for a field trip.
Actually they were all extremely well behaved, and I was so grateful for them. I really do enjoy their company.

6. I realize that I like the fact that Mitch has a three-day weekend every week now.
Mitch began his 4 tens the last week of June, and we are liking the three day weekends. He does not even seem to mind the long days too much either!

5. I realize that my now two year old is getting in touch with his feminine side.
Cooper loves Dora! He asks to watch it all the time, loves his Dora books, Dora movies, Dora phone, and Dora backpack. I do not mind buying Dora too since I am getting a leg up on toys for Brooke.

4. I realize that Brooke is growing up way too fast!
She is rolling over (She even rolled off my bed. I cried.), trying to sit up, and plays with rattles. Amazing.

3. I realize that my mom is an angel!
She helps with everything. She empties my dishwasher, picks up after herself, sweeps my floor, does my laundry better than I do, picks up Brooke whenever is necessary, and loves Cooper to pieces (This can be tough at times. He is two.). I think she is still radiant at 63, too. I am glad that I look like her. Perhaps I will get better looking with age. One can always hope.

2. I realize that God sends his tender mercies to me.
We went on a real quick trip to Ely this past week. We were in the car for 6 hours (due to a side trip to the Lehman Caves), and Jace threw up after we got to the motel, not in the car. He was not feeling up to going to dinner so my mom (another reason for angel wings on that woman) stayed with him in the motel. (He could have thrown up in a restaurant as well, so yet another blessing.) When we got back to the motel, I took the linens to the front desk only to find the worker about ready to leave so I got to wash the linens and get new towels just in time. Mitch took our items to the laundromat, which was across the street and picked up Lysol, all purpose cleaner, and paper towels at the market, which was also across the street. Cooper got a fever too later that night, but did not throw up. Aiden got sick moments before we got on the train, but I brought the trusty ice bucket, which, incidentally, we used on the train and it worked like a charm. Aiden got sick once again when we were near a bathroom- very handy. We drove home with no other incidents, and just about 20 minutes after we got home, Gage began getting sick- nutty I know. People may call it coincidence, but I know otherwise. Oh, and as a funny aside, when asking the kids “if they could go anywhere in the world, where would they go?” To this, Greyson declares, “ELY!” (If anyone has been to Ely, they can see the humor in this.) Aiden then pipes up, “Ya, that’s because he was not sick on the trip. I never want to go back there again, ever!“

1. I realize that there were benefits to being a teacher with regard to selecting your kids’ teachers.
We have three unknowns for next year. Aiden’s teacher has not even been hired yet, Gage’s is new to the school entirely, and Grey’s is a strict teacher who gets serious results, but also has been known to have a short fuse! I just keep praying that it will all work out. Oh man I hate the unknown at times! Who am I kidding? I hate it all the time.

A Pictorial of Recent Events

These aren't in any order, as you can probably tell. This sums up a fraction of what we've been up to this summer.

1. Cooper sleeping in wierd places.


2. Brooke involved in whatever the boys want to do (whether she wants to or not), including building a train track.


3. Independence Day


































4. Cooper's birthday - which is also Independence Day - filled with lots of things "Dora" - his favorite.




5. More Cooper sleeping in wierd places.


6. Cooper filling Brooke's crib with diapers


7. Enjoying our beautiful daughter.


8. Cooper sleeping in more wierd places - this time the baby bouncer.


9. Aiden scorpion project for school with real scorpions from Aunt Cory's house. Yikes.




10. And lots and lots of swimming, of course.

Scott McDonald, 1951 - 2009

My uncle, Scott McDonald, passed away on June 1. Over the past couple of years he had been battling thymoma, a devestating cancer. It proved to be too much.

As I sat during his funeral service trying to keep my kids quiet, I couldn't help but think of all the wonderful memories I have of Uncle Scott. I also kind of think he would have loved that all 6 of my kids (with a couple of cousins thrown in) were there - third row center - doing word searches, etc. at his service. He was such a significant part of so many peoples' lives; we could have had an open mic night and have been entertained for hours. All the speakers did great, and I admire my cousins for being able to share with us their thoughts.

In memory of this great man, I would like to share some of my own observations and thoughts:

- My mom has 2 brothers and 1 sister. Joan and Brent - the bookends - are the good ones. Loving, sweet, the nicest people you'll ever meet. My mom and Scott are the troublemakers. This is not to say that Joan and Brent don't have a mischeivous side, they are Del McDonald's kids, but they have those tendencies to a much lesser degree than Carol and Scott. Growing up in this family has made me aware of this fact. I spent countless family activities trying to read spoons or reciting something about "My Aunt Fanny." Scott and my mom were usually the ring leaders. I loved travelling up to Utah to spend time with the family. Seeing my uncle was always a big highlight of those trips.

- Jokes. My Uncle Scott loved jokes. I remember that as a kid, he always had a new joke for me. I'd also try and learn jokes so that I could tell one to him when I saw him.

- Sports. At the funeral, Scott's love of sports was mentioned several times. This impacted lots of the family activities we'd have. Thanksgiving just wasn't Thanksgiving without a large basketball or volleyball game. As my brothers and I got older, we'd play and usually lose to Scott and Brent. It didn't matter that we were younger or maybe a little quicker because they knew the game and most of the time did not miss a jumpshot. Even when I was very young, I would practice dribbling and handling the ball to try and impress my uncle.

- My mom making Scott kiss her big toe so that she would give him a diet Pepsi.

- Crab legs at the Frontier buffet on Friday nights.

- Spending my first Christmas home after my mission with Scott and family. I was attending BYU and because of work, was unable to make it to Las Vegas for Christmas. To make sure I was with family on Christmas, Scott and family invited me to spend it with them.

I am eternally grateful for the family I have been blessed with. I am especially grateful for a great uncle that shared with me so much of what it means to live this life to the fullest and in accordance with those things that bring true joy. I love you Uncle Scott and I miss you.

Tammy Faye Bakker

Some cultures believe in reincarnation. So apparently, Tammy Faye lives in my son. Let's all join hands...

Really, the only thing that has passed on here is Jace passing the Naughty Gnome title to Scoops. All I can say is that it is going to be a long year.


Here's Coop with a headfull of hair gel. He's also fond of lotion, diaper cream and handsoap.



Unfortunately, Jace hasn't completely outgrown the Gnomeness either.

Glamour Shots

Our friend, Howey, gave us these great cards that you place with your baby and snap a photo. There's one for each month. So, here are Brooke's 2-month-old glamour shots. I couldn't decide which one to put up so you've been blessed with a few.

Family Update

Dear Family and Friends,

I hope that you all understand why these updates are fewer and fewer. It is certainly not for a lack of funny material to report. I simply play catch up every single day of my life. As I sit here and type, Mitch is finishing the last haircut, Brooke is crying in the swing, and I am trying to think of what cleaner I will be using to get the marker off of the wall in the boys’ bedroom.

You see the boys must think it is a game to dirty up the house as soon as I clean it. Today, literally minutes after I scrubbed the bathtub, Cooper dotted the entire surface with mascara and poured liquid make up all over the side of the tub. You see I really was not that mad about the make-up because it is one that I have had since high school or perhaps college, but I never wear it. I am not even sure why I had not thrown it away before. But the mascara, which is the only make-up I do wear, is literally obliterated. Does anyone know a store that has mascara on sale this week?

Tonight, I was having the boys draw pictures for the missionaries. Jace decided to bring his marker into the bedroom and color on the wall and mirror. Ironically it was just today that my friend Teresa asked me if it was my three year old who was into making the messes. I said, oh no, Jace is well beyond the Naughty Gnome stage. Cooper is now well into it. What was I thinking? I was setting myself up for failure. I think, though, it did not make me all that mad because I just handed Jace the Clorox wipes (I wish I was the one who invented these.) and told him to clean it up. He did quite well.

Cooper, on the other hand, does the messes for a little cause and effect fun, and also to make me react I think. I am not sure about the latter, but here in my household, I do think they perhaps do naughty things for attention. Yesterday alone Coops dumped the plastic knife box, and then just about 30 minutes later, dumped the box of forks. (Who was the idiot mother who did not move the plastic utensils?) He earlier, while getting ready for church, opened his milk cup and poured it on the dirty laundry. Well at least it was already dirty. He also dumped my bag of Epsom salts that ironically I received from the boys for Mother’s Day last week to offer me some relaxation and rest- ya, that backfired! And he dumped the bag of goldfish crackers all over the kitchen floor. That was before I mopped the floor so his timing was good that day.

Brooke is two months old now. My how time flies. She is already in the 3 to 6 month clothing- no surprise I know. I am not sure how much she weighs as that would mean I go to the doctor on the routine well checks. Do not get me wrong, I do the well checks, but I merely do them late. She is into her routine for the most part. I still have to interrupt her naps regularly to transport children etc., but she is settling into our family quite nicely. The boys adore her- I think Jace most of all. He gives her hundreds of kisses each day. I think she grows tired of them, but she does not complain too much. She simply stares at him with fearful, deer in headlights stares as he comes in to lay one on her. She can sleep through anything, and noise does not even spook her much anymore. She is sassy, but all in all, she is a pretty good baby.

We had her blessing a few weeks ago. Grandpa John and Grandma Kathleen came down from Reno, along with my nephew Grif. It was great to have them support Brooke on her special day. My mom and all the local siblings of Mitch along with their families came as well. Mitch’s aunt and uncle came too. It was nice to have them as Mitch’s parents were unable to attend because they were still traveling home from a week in Orlando. Our good friends Andy and Leah also came. We had a great brunch at the house afterwards, and it was really a pleasant day. She looked adorable and I really am feeling good about this little one being the last installment of the Bishop clan.

I know I need to cuddle little Brooke more and just waste time holding her. I wish I did it more. I know I will regret not holding her more, but there is so much to do. I guess the balancing act of a mother is her constant struggle. I just wish I could make time stand still.

Cooper is still not really talking. He is smart and I know there is nothing to worry about because his receptive language is incredible. He says all of the words found in a Dora episode and he talks to her on a regular basis. He also points to every Dora item in Target as we wheel past it. Too funny. I never noticed all the Dora merchandise until I had a son obsessed with the character. Mitch LOVES Dora cartoons. He really loves the hour-long episode about friendship bracelets.


Aiden is doing well and loves scouts. He can not wait for his Thursdays. He is also loving school and has second grade humor tales to tell me each day. I laugh not with him, but at him. I hope he never catches on to this. I would hate to make him feel bad.

Grey is loving school and is excited to report that he reads Magic Tree House books independently. He is also enjoying the pool, but is a little fearful of the pop up breathing. I think he will be swimming here in a few days, but yikes, he is fearful of it. He would rather hold his breath the full length of the pool rather than stop his momentum.

Gage, on the other hand, loves the pool and has no fear at all. He can swim the length of the pool, can jump in, turn around and get out. I know he will be swimming like Aiden in no time. Amazing.

Oh and Jace loves the water too. He will be swimming too by month’s end. He just loves it and begs to go in every day!

Well I have two stories that I must report indicating what a stellar mother I am. The other day, we had an awards assembly to attend. I took all the carpool kids as well as my four stay at home kids. I let the kids get out and told the older five to go on to school. I told Gage, Jace and Cooper to play on the playground. I then got Brooke out of the car. I was counting the kids as I was visiting with another K mom. As I got closer to the kids, I looked at the little boy in the gray T-shirt who I thought was Jace to discover that, in fact, it was not Jace. With all the gusto I could muster, I calmly but forcefully told the boys to come immediately with me to go find Jace. I began scanning the schoolyard, to see my little three year old run around the chain link fence looking earnestly for his misplaced mother. Gratefully another friend helped me retrieve him and what could have turned out dreadful, turned out just fine.

Another mom of the year award goes to me again just a few days later. I was making food for the blessing. Coops was in the kitchen with me while the boys were playing. Grandma and Mitch were off getting a garage sale find in his truck. I needed help with the garbage so I called Aiden to take out the garbage. Aiden did and apparently Cooper followed him silently and stealth like. Meanwhile, Mitch and grandma came home so I helped unload the goodies. When Mitch and I came back into the house, we both asked one another, where is Cooper? We both ran around the house calling him repeatedly. We looked outside, inside, at mom’s, in closets, etc. Now I am freaking. I yell to all the kids to help me search. Aiden, moments later, finds him asleep at the threshold of the garage door covered in black soot probably from the tires. I scoop him up and immediately begin to cry. He wakes up to the sounds of my sobs and begins to cry as well. Mitch takes over the soothing role as now, I am in no position to soothe. I immediately think of our Father in Heaven and how he must feel when he loses us. I was so grateful it was May and not August too.

Well Brooke is in tears again so I need to attend to her. I love you all and hope this finds you well.

Kim and her zoo

I love to see the temple

For a while now, I've wanted to take the kids to walk around on the temple grounds - well, we'll use the term "walk" loosely when we talk about my kids being outside. So when a friend of ours was getting married, we had the perfect chance. We all went over last Saturday morning, and while Kim went in for the sealing, I stayed outside with the kids.

It may have been a little chilly, but the boys really liked it. I'm not quite sure they appreciated the significance of the place, but we'll work on that.


Our little Brooke - once we were safe inside the car, out of the wind. Her Aunt Tara insists that she wear these flower things. I don't mind the tiny bows, but these things are a little LARGE for my taste.


This is pretty much the best picture I could muster of Cooper. He just was all over the place. He hasn't been feeling well, which translates to "There is no way I'm going to look at that camera, sloppy father-figure person!"


Checking to make sure that Brooke was handling the wind alright.


Cooper, Grey and Aiden


The boys checking out the secret of the echo benches. Ah, the things I get to pass down.


The Crew


My five little guys. I was really sad that it was too cold to take Brooke out of her seat to get a picture of all of them. Cold? I know you're looking at all the boys in shorts and thinking that we're horrible parents. When we dressed them, we had no idea that the wind would be so strong and cold on Saturday. After the sun came out, it was warmer, but still too cold for Broccoli.